


Letter to My Guys

by Asandbakken



Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Feelings Realization, Gen, Other, goodbye letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 19:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14220579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asandbakken/pseuds/Asandbakken
Summary: Jaz knows she's putting her life at risk by attempting to assassinate Jarif in his penthouse. So on the chance she gets caught, she writes her team a letter to tell them all how much they mean to her.





	Letter to My Guys

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction. I hope you all enjoy it. Any and all comments or critiques are welcome ☺
> 
> I wrote this after rewatching episode 9 for about the 20th time... I just didn't think that Jaz would go into a situation as dangerous as killing Jarif in his own penthouse without leaving some way to say goodbye to her team if something went wrong. I started wondering what she would say and that's how this story came to be. My brain would literally not stop thinking about it until I wrote it down. I do have plans to write more. It's just a matter of getting my thoughts cohesively out of my head and onto the screen.

Amir returned to the safe house looking and feeling defeated after his recognizance mission at the slaughterhouse. He knew in his gut that it was where the Qud's were holding Jaz, just like he knew that it would be a suicide mission to try to get her out. The thought of leaving her behind while they did nothing didn't sit well with him, but he couldn't see any other option that didn't result in the whole team losing their lives.

  
Dalton sat at the table desperately trying to find some way to rescue Jaz from the slaughterhouse where she was being held. It was his fault that she was currently being held captive while the Qud's did God only knows what to her. If he hadn't sent her into the hotel to kill Jarif none of them would be in this mess. But no matter how he looked at it, there was no way to get Jaz out without getting the rest of his team killed. His heart refused to accept that there was nothing to be done, even though his head knew it was the truth.

  
McG and Preach sat at the table watching Top. They knew that their CO wouldn't want to leave anyone behind, and that the thought of losing Jaz must be killing him. They didn't want to leave her either, but with no better alternative, they couldn't see any other option. They'd follow Top no matter what, but trying to free Jaz from the slaughterhouse would accomplish nothing more than the whole team losing their lives.

  
Hossein walked into the room holding a sheet of paper. Dalton could see that it had Jaz's handwriting on it. All the blood in his body went to ice in his veins as he realized what Hossein must be holding. It was the letter that all soldiers wrote even while hoping it would never have to be delivered.

  
"Jaz wrote this before leaving for the hotel," Hossein explained. "She asked that if some thing went wrong and she couldn't be saved that I read you all this letter."

  
Dalton, Preach, McG, and Amir just stared at Hossein. None of them were fully prepared to accept defeat and admit that Jaz was gone, but they knew there was no way to save her from where she was being held. Every hour they stayed in Tehran risked more of their lives. So when Dalton nodded, Hossein began to read

  
To My Guys:  
I hope Hossein never has to read you this letter. I'm hoping that in a few hours I'll be tearing it up into lots of little pieces instead. But if Hossein is reading this it means the mission with Jarif went sideways, and I'm either dead or captured. If I'm dead then I hope I at least took that bastard out first. If I'm captured then I know you guys did everything you could to stop it from happening. I know protocol dictates that I'm on my own and I understand you guys can't stay so please don't do anything stupid. I can take the abuse, I was abused my whole life. My father never wanted a daughter and he made life at home nearly impossible to survive, but I did. I got out, and when I did I joined the military. Being a woman in the army, especially a woman sniper, subjected me to more of the same. This unit was the first where nobody looked down on me because of my gender. Nobody expected me to just put out because it must be why I joined in the first place. Instead you trusted me to get the job done and have your backs. You became my friends… my family. So believe me when I say that I can take whatever they throw at me without breaking. I'm a survivor and I'll give them nothing. The only thing that could break me is the thought that any of you could be killed trying to rescue me. I can handle anything except thinking that you died because of me. You have to let me go. I'm already gone.

  
Hossein,  
I don't really know much about you. Just the stories that Top has told us. But your help has been invaluable on this mission. We never would have made it this far without you. I know I can count on you to get my guys out of the city and back across the border safe. I know that you had reservations about me being on this mission because of what the Qud's did to your daughter. I hope that if I manage to kill Jarif that you can take comfort in knowing that there is one less evil man in the world. Maybe because of my actions some other father wont have to experience your pain. I wish we had more time to get to know each other. I would have enjoyed hearing stories about Top before he became our CO. Please do all you can to keep them safe.

  
Amir,  
I know things got off to a rocky start with us. I regret that I didn't give you a fair chance from the start. Instead I resented you for taking Elijah's spot on the team, and that wasn't fair to you. All I could do was miss my best friend and compare the ways that you were so different. In doing so I missed all the ways you were the same. In Paris, after Top explained about your sister, I finally allowed myself to see a different side of you. I'm sorry that Is what it took for me to finally fully trust you enough to start letting you in. I'm happy that you were able to forgive me, and I'm glad that we've become friends. You are a great guy Amir, more importantly you are an honorable man. I know you can't help but think of your sister in this situation, but please don't think of me as one more girl you couldn't save. Remember that I've always preferred to save everybody else, and that's what I'm doing by telling you all to go. I need you to be the reasonable one, the cool headed one, and get our team out, even if they don't want to go.

  
McG,  
You're the brother I never had, and one of my best friends. You're one of the people I count on most in my life. You may annoy the crap out of me at times, but you always have my back. I know people may see you and judge you as nothing but a womanizing pretty boy. But I know that isn't who you are. You're the heart of this team. You've saved all of our lives at some point with your medical skills, but your sense of humor has saved me in so many other ways. After Elijah died and I closed myself off from the rest of the team it was you who got me laughing again. I need you to promise me that you'll do the same for Amir, Preach, and Top. They're going to need you to be your ridiculous, charming, sarcastic self. I'm so glad that I met you, that we've had all these crazy adventures over the last 3 years, and that you became my family. I can accept my fate because I know you'll be there to keep the team alive the way you helped keep me alive.

  
Preach,  
I never really had a father. Mine hated me from the second I turned out to be a girl. He made my childhood a living hell that I couldn't escape from. I suppose you would tell me that he also helped make me the person I am today. Except you'd say something more like adversity is the catalyst for humanity's growth or something weird like that. Your daughter's don't know just how lucky they are to have you as a dad. You've shown me how a father is supposed to act. You've shown me that good men do exist. I wish my father had been like you, but l'm glad that I got to think of you as a father figure for as long as I did. You've been the man I look up to and respect as a dad since I've joined this team. Your wisdom and advice have helped me more than you'll ever know. You seem to know what's going on before anybody else does and it has helped keep us all alive. Please look after Amir and McG, and especially Top. Help them accept that some thing can't be fixed. Help them let me go. Be their guiding light. They're going to need you now more then ever. Especially Top. He's going to blame himself. I need you to make sure he doesn't go dark.

  
Top...  
I don't even know what to say to you, or how to say what I want to say to you. I know right now you're probably blaming yourself and thinking that if you hadn't put me up to this that it never would have happened. Don't. Please don't blame yourself. If anything this is all my fault. I improvised and disobeyed an order to abort. I took a shot at Jarif that could have ended an innocent kid's life if I hadn't pulled up. I'm so sorry that I disappointed you. I know you told me that I didn't have a damn thing to prove to you, and maybe I don't, but I have a lot I need to prove to myself. I told you once that you were the only CO I've ever had that looks at me and doesn't see a woman first, and that's true, but it's also so much more than that. Your faith and trust in me has been so amazingly unexpected. I was so used to never measuring up because I happened to be female. You never even doubted that I not only measured up, but that I could be better than the men I was up against. The fact that you believe so strongly in me has made me a better soldier, and a better person. I need to prove to myself that your faith in me isn't misplaced. I know this mission is dangerous, and if there were some other way to get it done we would, but there's not. If we leave now we may never get another chance at Jarif, and I'd never forgive myself if anybody else died because of him when we have a chance to stop him here and now. You're the CO, but this was my call. Please don't blame yourself. I know that you'll hate having to leave a man behind, but Top, do it for me. Get the rest of our team home safe. You're our leader Dalton and they'll need you to lead. I know that you'll try everything you can, but please don't take unnecessary risks to try and get me out. Get our guys to safety. That's the mission now. I don't want you to let this harden you. Don't shut out the world the way I did after Elijah's death. Lean on Preach, McG, and Amir. Let them in and help them through this. They're going to need you Top. They're depending on you to stay strong.  
I wish we had more time. I wish I could say all of the things I want to say to you. I wish for so many things. Things that I know I have no right to wish for. You're my commanding officer and the rules on code of conduct are very clear. Rules that are there for a reason. But lately there's this line that keeps getting blurred in my head between Top my CO, and Adam the man I've come to respect, admire, trust, and love. Crossing that line was never an option for us, I know that. It would have ruined my career and could have potentially cost you your command. I never would have wanted that. I never would have crossed that line and put everything we've both worked so hard for in jeopardy. But if I'm dead anyway there's no reason not to cross it now. I don't even know if you felt the same way, but I'm hoping you did. Every once in awhile it felt like maybe there was a chance you might. I'm sorry that we'll never have a chance to see what could have been later down the road, but at least we've had this much time together. So instead of dwelling on me being gone, remember the times we had together, yeah? Oh and Adam, if it's not to much to ask, every once in awhile when you look at the stars... Maybe think of me?

  
I'll miss you all more than I could ever say.  
Love,  
Jaz

  
When Hossein finished reading the letter the men just sat there in silence. No one knew exactly how to handle what they'd just heard. Dalton could barely breath, let alone think. All he knew is that he needed a moment alone. Just a moment to try to process what he'd just heard. He quietly got up and left the room. He headed to the window by the stairs and just leaned against them while Jaz's words kept running through his head. How was he supposed to just let her go? Just then D.C. came on the line to tell him what he and his team had already discussed. That there was zero chance of getting out of the black site alive. A part of him wanted to order his team to safety while he stayed behind, even though he knew that there was no way to save her. But that's not what Jaz wanted. She was counting on him to get the rest of the team to safety.

  
"I know it's impossible. I'm not asking to stay." He told Patricia, even while it gutted him to know that he would have to leave Jaz behind.

  
"We'll begin planning new exfiltration orders for you and your team immediately." Patricia told him. "it may take a little time since you've been outed…"

  
"Outed?" Dalton asked, confused.

  
"Yes, the Iranian government has all four of your pictures, and if you're caught you'll be executed immediately." Patricia told him.

Dalton suddenly had an idea. It was crazy , but it could work.

  
"No, they wouldn't execute us immediately. First they'd transfer us somewhere to televise it." He said as he tried to formalize the plan in his head.

  
"Why are we talking about this?" Patricia asked.

  
"Because you may have just saved Jaz's life." Dalton exclaimed as he headed back to fill his team in on the plan.

  
It was crazy, and the plan could get them all killed, but there was a chance it could work. It was the only way they could attempt a rescue without all of them dying. They knew that if they did nothing they would lose Jaz forever and none of them wanted that. They refused to leave Jaz for dead if there was even a small chance that they could save her. For the first time in hours the team had hope. They were going to get their girl and bring her home.

 


End file.
